So a few months ago, I did something I never EVER thought I would do… I wore a bikini when I went to the beach with my friends. I’d had the swimsuit for over a year but I never had a chance to wear it and when my friends and I decided to spend a day at the beach, I knew it was time to bust it out.
Before this time, I only wore one piece suits or tankinis that covered my entire stomach, but never a bikini that left my midriff exposed to the world. If I was ever in the market for a new swim suit, I would immediately look for a more conservative option. Not necessarily because it was a style I liked, but I assumed that people who look like me should never wear a bikini. I assumed that if I ever dared to wear one that people would stare at me, people would whisper as the passed me in judgement.
When we got to the beach and set up our spot, I suddenly remembered that when I took off my cover up, I would be in a bikini in front of a lot of people… and I was suddenly terrified. But I wanted to have fun and go in the water and not have to worry about anything so I ripped off the bandaid and took off the cover up and I felt okay, but still nervous. Suddenly my friends were exclaiming about how cute I looked and were asking where I bought it. So far, so good. No judgement and I was getting used to the sensation of being more exposed in public.
Every now and then I would hear people laughing and immediatly fear that they were looking at me and laughing that a curvy girl was in a bikini, but I’d look around and it was just friends laughing as they played frisbee, or parents laughing with their young children making sand castles, or the people laughing in bliss as they played in the water. One of my friends and I decided to go for a nice long walk on the beach and just catch up and I started to forget about my fears about being judged. If anyone did judge me, I never noticed.
In the end, I guess what I’m trying to say is try to get out of your comfort zone every once in a while.
Tender Loving Caroline 