Body +, creativity, Theatre

My Pledges For The New Year

Going into 2019, the year I graduate from college and start to navigate the scariness of adulthood, I promise to myself that I will believe in myself. No more doubt and putting myself down. Just because someone else wants something or is good at something doesn’t mean that I can’t want something or do something. I have been digging a hole for myself in the past and now as a young, passionate woman with a bright future, I need to be the force that propels me out of my abyss into the bright, shining future ahead of me.

I also want this new year to become a year of becoming a healthier person physically, mentally, and financially. Physically, I want to become more active and start losing weight. It’s not that I don’t love my body, but I hope to become a kidney donor for my dad and the doctors at the transplant center say that I need to look into losing weight to become the best match possible. This is something I really want to do because if I can help my dad become healthier, I want to do everything in my power to make this happen. Mentally, I want to accept the fact that I have anxiety and have panic attacks from time to time and that as I discover coping mechanisms, to never fear implementing them when necessary. Financially, I want to practice the art of spending less and saving more. I have a bad habit of spending much more than I’m making and then putting myself in anxious situations where I panic about my lack of money. By practicing financial self-control, I will be able to have a better piece of mind for my future.

A lot of people say, “New Year, new me” and I want to make this a reality for my future. 2019 is a huge year for me and it’s up to me to grab life by the horns and take control.

Body +, creativity

Try new things

It’s been hitting me lately that I am my biggest inhibitor in my success. I think that because other people are more attractive, smarter, and more successful, that I can’t try new things. I almost didn’t start this blog because I thought I’d never have 1,00,000 followers but that’s not what this is about. I started this blog to give myself a bigger and more personalized outlet for my thoughts and feelings and I couldn’t have made a better decision. I am doing something for me and not caring how many followers I have or the other types of blogs that exist. This is something that makes me happy and I need to trust that I can do anything as long as I am passionate enough and work hard enough.

With the new year approaching, don’t be afraid to try new things. Don’t think about who else out there is doing something similar. If you think starting a youtube channel, or starting a fitness instagram, or a baking blog will bring you joy, go for it! Don’t let your level of popularity, body, or fears put you down. You can do anything you set your mind to as long as you let yourself.

 

Body +

Self-Depricating Humor

Let’s talk about self-depricating humor. I am a huge implementer of this in my life and I always forget how toxic it can be. Sometimes I use it to get positive attention and sometimes I can’t accept that I actually am beautiful and good at things so I force myself to believe that I’m not.

Don’t trick yourself into doubting your self worth. Employ mind over matter. Instead of tearing yourself down, build yourself up. This is something I really need to work on this year and I want to dedicate 2019 to pushing myself toward a life of self-love and appreciation. If I can’t be my biggest supporter, I will not achieve the success I hope to gain when I graduate from college.IMG_1678.jpg

Body +

Love Yourself

Life is far too short to hate yourself. You can’t prosper and suck the marrow out of the bones of life if you aren’t willing to show yourself, especially your body, the love it deserves. If you have a problem, love yourself enough to fix it. If you think dropping a few pounds will make you feel better, find a way to become more active that will bring you joy. This doesn’t mean you can’t have a lazy day or pig out with your friends, but by loving your body in different ways, you can find the peace you need to love yourself the way you are meant to.IMG_3209

Body +

Self Love

I was trying to take a cute selfie the other day in my super festive Snoopy Christmas pjs and I kept trying to controur my body in a way that would make me look thinner because I felt like my top made me look heavy. I wasn’t even thinking about what I was doing until I finally posted the picture and I was so frustrated with myself for putting so much focus on trying to make myself look thinner than I am. I need to stop trying to mold myself so I look what I think society thinks I should look like. I should love my body and work every look like the confident millenial I am.IMG_3158.jpg

Sometimes I look at this picture and the first thing I see is my arm and I feel so ashamed. I don’t think of the fact that I’m in a beautiful dress or that I’m spending the evening at a gala with the love of my life. I just see my arm and I assume that that’s the first thing everyone else will see. Not my smile, or my eyes, or my dress… My fat arm. There are a lot of things I wish I could change about my body and my arm “flub” is definitely towards the top of my list. But I need to remember that i can control things like this. First, I can control how I percieve my body and secondly, I can get active and take the necessary steps to get healthy and help myself become more comfortable with the parts of my body I feel the most insecure about.IMG_2283

March 2018

Sometimes I see pictures of myself and I can’t believe that that’s the way people see me. But then I see how happy I am in  pictures like this and I wonder why I would have negative thoughts about myself. It’s normal to be self-conscious but you have to remember that you are beautiful no matter what you look like. Don’t be your biggest critic. Be your biggest supporter.IMG_1490

November 2018

I’d be lying if I said I was totally happy with how my body looks. This is a journey that I have been on for a long time and who knows when or if it will end. I haven’t been thin since elementary school and I always assumed that being bigger meant that I wasn’t beautiful and that I wasn’t capable of being happy with the way I look but I’m slowly learning how to love myself even when I feel down. I was hesitant to post this picture because I saw so many “flaws” with my body but that’s what makes me who I am.IMG_2956.jpg

Opening night of my latest show.
Adorable cat shoes are from Modcloth.com