An Open Letter To My Younger Self

Dear Caroline,

Be proud of how weird you are. The fact that you are outgoing and observant is a strength that you need to hold onto as you get older. One piece of advice though, please stop over straightening your bangs and smearing eyeliner on your eyes every chance you get. Just stop. And fun fact, once you hit puberty, your hair is going to become curly and it’s going to be a huge part of how you present yourself to the world. Also, you should learn how to do liquid liner on your top eyelid because it makes you look a lot more fierce than only having eyeliner on the bottom. It’s going to become your signature when you wear makeup.

You are not fat. You are so beautiful. Your body is changing in a way you don’t understand. At this time, you are the only one in your class who is curvy so it makes sense you don’t understand why you don’t look like everyone else. Your teachers and principal will fat shame you and that’s never okay. Luckily, you have amazing friends who are on your side and will never make you feel less than you are. This experience will make yourself view your body in a negative way but it will pave the way for you to see the beauty in yourself and your size. Your body is what takes you places and helps you experience the beauty and wonderful things in life. How could you hate something that is so awesome?

You had a tough time in elementary and middle school. You feel confused about who and what to believe and it scares you at times. Just know that this is the beginning of you seeing yourself as a free thinker. This pushed you to search deep down and discover your values and beliefs. You are going to find some incredible friends and teachers who will help you on your journey and will help to better understand your faith and your place in the world. This is so hard right now but I promise you it gets better and it is such a relief to know this.

You have such an incredible, loving and supportive family. They are the foundation you are built upon. Never forget to appreciate them and tell them how much they mean to you. Every journey you take in life, you have had your family’s support and encouragement and looking back, it is a huge reason as to why you are successful. You will always be able to count on them for a pep-talk and brutal honesty (even when you aren’t in the mood to hear it). Never forget how lucky you are.

You are privileged. You never had to worry about having a roof over your head or if you were going to eat. You always had a room to yourself. You’ve always had plenty of blankets to keep you warm and clothing to protect you. You always got new school supplies each year and you got to go on plenty of other shopping sprees. You got to try out every activity you wanted because your parents encouraged you to try new things. Always remember this. And remember to take that privilege and speak out for those who are not. Speak out when you see injustice and things that just aren’t right. Speak out against those who want to keep those living in poverty impoverished. Speak out against those who don’t believe that #blacklivesmatter. Continue to love your neighbor and use your voice for the greater good.

Remember what Ghandi said. “Be the change you want to see in the world”.

My New Blog Name

Hi y’all, long time no see! So after a few weeks of brainstorming, I decided to change my blog name from ‘Good Times Never Seem So Good’ to ‘Tender Loving Caroline’. There are a few reasons for this change. First of all, I realized that I wasn’t thinking clearly when I first named my blog back in 2018. I didn’t think about the copyright laws associated with using lyrics to a popular song and to get ahead of any potential issues related to this, I decided a name change was in order. I also have been evaluating what my blog means to me and what I want to accomplish. First and foremost, this blog is a safe space for me to share important topics in a constructive and positive way. There are so many things I am bursting to share with the world and this is my outlet to make it happen. I wanted a new name that would help me showcase this. I wanted something catchy that would also tell people what to expect when they visit my sight.

Suddenly, after making a list of 50+ name options, Tender Loving Caroline came to mind. Not only does this represent the kind of person I want to be, but I believe it also embodies the feeling I want anyone who visits my blog to experience. I am so happy with this change and I can’t wait to continue to share myself with the world.

I would like to thank Em, Halie, and MJ for listening to me ramble about the changes I want to make and for giving me their honest opinions and support. They are the real MVPs and I am so grateful to have friends like them.

I hope everyone is staying as safe and healthy as they can during this time. Don’t forget to treat yourself to a little TLC every once in a while.

How To Keep Yourself From Going Absolutely BONKERS During A Pandemic

Is it me or is COVID-19 a HUGE PAIN IN THE M*THER F***ING A**?!?! (Sorry, Grammie for cursing…) It’s so important to stay informed and follow the guidance of the CDC and WHO, but it’s important not to compromise your physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual health. This is a time where we all need to get be aware of our surroundings and who we are with and it often feels like being in quarantine, and we are giving up everything that we enjoy. There are a few things I truly miss doing and I didn’t realize how much they mean to me until now. I don’t feel comfortable going to my gym at the moment so I am currently sticking to neighborhood walks and doing old-fashioned crunches and push-ups instead of the machines that help you shape your muscle. I miss the routine I was starting to have. I miss feeling like I’m really taking care of myself. I miss feeling like I’m challenging myself to be a better version of me. While i still feel the motivation to exercise, it just isn’t the same. I also miss going to get coffee. I miss the smell of the local coffee shop, the atmosphere of hanging out and getting some work done on my laptop while I sip my drink. I miss wandering around a book store, smelling the scent of freshly printed pages and feeling the wonder of a world I might dive into. And despite how much I miss all these things, I have to remind myself of all of the things I can do to entertain myself while maintaining a healthy social distance. Here are some ideas for how to maintain your sanity during this time of quarantine:

Challenge yourself to read more

Do you have a collection of books in your home? Do you have access to works in the public domain (i.e. Shakespeare) that can be easily found online? Is there an online comic that you’re a fan of? One of the biggest joys of reading is getting away from real life for a while to escape to the world of your book. Whether it’s fiction, non-fiction, fantasy, sci-fi, anime, there’s a world for you to discover in these books and this world can serve as a great distraction from the one we currently live in. Find something that sparks your interest and give in to the narrative.

Treat yourself to a movie marathon

Movies are a great distraction from the world right now. But not only should you find a movie you love, why not go through an entire series. It could be Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Marvel. It doesn’t even need to be in the same series. Do you like Jane Austen Novels? There are so many on netflix and amazon! Is there a specific actor you like? Well get ready to watch 12 straight hours of Johnny Depp or Reese Witherspoon because they are fabulous and their films are just waiting to be watched. Whatever it is that excites you, watch it! Why not download Netflix Party and watch with friends who you would normally be watching with in the same room. Just make sure you’re having fun!

Try to exercise for 30 minutes a day

Once the announcement was made that COVID- 19 was a global pandemic and I knew the disease was in my area, I decided to take a break from going to my regular gym. It’s not that I don’t trust the incredible gym staff, it’s just that I feel safer when I am in control of my environment and I can be more on top of my home’s overall cleanliness than my gym’s. That being said, I still have he urge to exercise every day, but I miss the machines at my gym so much. It makes it seem harder to get a thirty minute workout in every day. But then I stopped over thinking (as usual) and realized how much you can do in just thirty minutes. All I need is a plan. For working out without a gym, you can set a timer and go for a walk around your neighborhood. Don’t want to leave your house? Get creative with what you have in your home. Full water bottles can act as weights if you normally use those in your gym exercises. Do some yoga in your living room. Attempt to do crunches or sit ups or even a plank while your pets are confused and swarm you the second you get on the floor. Whatever works for you is the workout for you.

Write Something

Do you like to write stories? Do you like to journal? Do you like to write music/songs? Take half an hour to an hour each day to write and exerpt of a story or write a detailed journal entree. Now that the world feels like it’s on lockdown, the arts are more important to us than ever. Imagine how silent and lonely your quarantine would be without music. Write down some lyrics to help descipher exactly how you feel. The power of music is great for releasing emotions deep inside that you’re desperate to get out. Let whatever you’re feeling pour out into the page. You’re not along and you shouldn’t have to keep everything bottled up.

Do some crafting

Is there a creative project you’ve been dying to do? Some drawing, sewing, or pottery perhaps? If you have any supplies available, set aside some time to be creative. Do you want to film a video? Do it! Do you have painting supplies and access to the internet? Why not watch Bob Ross and not only will you have a beautiful work of art, you wil have the calming presence of Bob Ross and who are we kidding if we said that he wouldn’t be immensely helpful in times like these? Getting creative can be a great distraction from all you may not be able to do while practicing social distancing.

Take time to talk with friends and family

Talking with your loved ones can really help the feeling of isolation. For me, personally, something that always gets me through a hard time are my family, my boyfriend, and my friends. I know it’s hard that you can’t go out to eat with them right now, but it’s important to stay in contact. Be sure to take advantage of FaceTime, text, and phone calls. It’s frustrating to not be with your loved ones in person but that doesn’t mean we can’t be connected with them.

Try to put on actual pants as much as you can

I know that if you’re working from home or if your job is currently non-existant due to this global pandemic, it’s easy to get yourself into a rut of just being in your pajamas all day. Making an effort to look good can really help you to feel good. I recently joined a FaceBook group called “I Put On Pants Today” and it’s a bunch of great people showing how they’re coping with the state of the world right now. They are sharing pictures of them dressed in street clothes, asking for and sharing ideas to keep busy, and it’s a very positive environment to be around. I’ve been making sure I get dressed in something I would normally wear to work or to run errands and it helps me to feel like I’m not moping. Yeah I wish I could go out right now, but the less we practice social distancing, the worse off we will be in the future.

These are scary times, friends. There’s a lot to be wary of but it’s important to keep yourself positive and motivated. What have you done to keep yourself from going bonkers during this pandemic? Leave a comment and let me know!

An Update on My Life

Hello Internet! It truly has been a while since I’ve last posted. A lot has happened in the last few months.

Firstly, I served as Production Manager for my class’s senior thesis project where we form a company and put on a children’s show. The show was called The Princess King and it was an incredible experience! We had many ips and downs along the way but we made it through! It was a show that taught us and the children so many important lessons about being yourself and never giving up on your dreams. We had such an amazing time putting this show on and it is something that I will remember as one of the best experiences of my life.

Cast and Crew of The Princess King – DeSales Theatre Class of 2019

My classes this semester have taught me so much about life and myself. My favorite class, which is actuall one of the best classes I’ve ever taken is called Women in the World and it has taught me so much about being a strong woman and how to share my strengths with the world. We have been tackling the experiences of women through christianity, pre-christianity, and modern thought. It has been so enightening to see how throughout history, the notion of the fall of man from genesis is the precursor to poor treatment of women. Because this text has been taken literally, women have been thought of as lesser than men and have been at a disservice throughout history. It never hit me that this has been the case and really opened my eyes on how to educate myself and those around me on how we can achieve truer equality between the sexes.

I am on the Wardrobe crew for Pippin at DeSales and it is proving to be a very fun experience. I love the actors I am working with and they have made it great. I loved hanging out with some of my best friends every night and having an opportunity to work with costumes during a run. It also gives me more experience learning how to interract with different people backstage as a stage manager.

In the summer, I will be returning to the Pennsylvania Shakespeare Festival as a stage management intern for the REP shows. This will be my third season at the Festival, and I am really looking forward coming back again. This will be my first time working on shows that are rehearsing simultaneously and while it will be hard and stressful at times, it is an opportunity for me to learn about this type of process and to put my organizational skills to the test.

After the summer, I will have my first Post-Grad job as the Non-Equity Assistant Stage Manager at Delaware Theatre Company. I am so excited for this incredible opportunity to learn and hone my skills in my craft. I have been a little nervous lately over the thought of leaving school and not going back. I don’t think this will really hit me until I start my job at DTC. It is so strange to think that afterbeing in school for the last 18 years, I will finally be free, well at least of homework. Hello, debt! I am really dreading student loans but as long as I am smart with my money and keep working hard, I will eventually get through that.

Now that the semester is ending, I am hoping to get back into the swing of this blog and to get more of my story out there!

 

I Am Woman

To me, womanhood is embracing your strength, defying gender and social norms, shattering the class ceiling until nothing is left. As a gender, womanhood has been challenged since the earliest stories of creation and as a modern-day woman, I feel that it is my duty to further embrace these aspects of womanhood to inspire myself, others around me, and future generations of strong, badass women.

Websters Dictionary’s website has many definitions of the word “empower, and one of them is the verb to empower, explaining it as “to promote the self-actualization or influence of [something]” and uses its example as how the women’s march is inspiring and empowering to women. The word “empower” is being adopted into the culture of feminism and equality between all regardless of gender, gender identity, skin color, social standing, etc. “Empower” has become a very common word in my vocabulary lately and it has become a positive necessity in my life that touches everything I do. Everything I study for, every conversation, blog post, thought, has come from this place of empowerment that was once so deep inside me that I didn’t know it was there. Now, my empowerment has begun to grow and flourish within me and has taught me that I need to help other people grow.

I am currently taking one of the best classes I have ever taken in college called “Women in the World” and every day it inspires me to be a better woman and helps me to understand what it means to be female. I am very empowered by my gender and sexuality and I believe that it has given me a power and confidence in life. It gives me something to identify with and gives me a further understanding with the women around me. As women, we have been subject to the stories that our ancestors have been privy to which, when taken seriously, have been an integral part in shaping society’s standards of who women are to be in relation to themselves, other women, and men. The main one is the book of Genesis in the Bible. After the fall of man, the Bible states that Eve was to go from being in equal union to Adam to being beneath him and would have to follow his way instead of her own. I remember in grade school (which was a private catholic school) when the girls and boys would get into arguments with each other because of the whole Adam and Eve story. The boys would say that because Eve sinned first and convinced Adam to eat the fruit that girls are clearly inferior to boys. These gender barriors were present in us as young children and has fed a society where, although women are making amazing strides in the workforce, in sports, in the beauty community, and so many other places, we as an entire gender are still seen as inferior to men.

Inferior to men? FUCK THAT! Feminism is not about one gender being greater than the other. It is about each gender lifting the other up in all aspects of life. It’s about men not feeling emasculated if a woman is in a higher position than him. It’s about women supporting men who may take on responsibilities that were once considered too feminine.

I asked some of the people closest to me about what it means to them to be a woman and here’s some of their responses:

“Powerful yet flexible”

“Never letting others stop you from being who you are on the inside”

“Supporting other women, being proud of who you are. Women are real life superHERos!”

“Having the ability to nurture, love, adapt, support, cry, rage, calm and grow. We are a jumble of emotions and its our best attribute.”

 

My favorite quote comes from my beautiful mother: “I think empowerment means not sitting back and letting life happen to you, but tackling challenges head-on. I think it is also being unafraid to chase your dreams and do what you need to do in order to achieve those dreams, even if those dreams challenge society’s expectations and notions of womanhood. Keep doing what you are doing!” This is a woman who inspires me every day. I am never afraid to talk to her about anything and I know she has my back no matter what I do. My mom never followed what society expected of her. She did what felt right to her. Coming from a “traditional” family, her parents pushed her to get married right after high school but she wanted more out of life. She traveled, got a job, met my dad, and began her life her way. She worked while my sister and I were young and then decided to be a stay at home mom because she felt that it was best for her family. Then when I was 7, she went to college and finally got a degree she’d been wanting for so long. She worked her ass off with two small children, pets, a husband, and so many responsibilities to become an english teacher and inspire and mold the minds of the future. Sometimes I forget how much my mom has done to make her life the way she wants it and to also help my sister and I live up to our fullest potential and that selflessness is something I can only hope to come close to paying back.

To come to a conclusion to my rambling, being a woman is finding your path in your own way. It’s fighting to make a change fot the future that’s good for all. It’s finding your inner strength to accept and love yourself so that others can do the same. Being a woman means to empower. Take your strengths to empower yourself, those around you, and those you have yet to meet.

Tender Loving Caroline

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Welcome to my blog!

This is a place where I want to share my take on three of the most important things in my life: theatre, body positivity,  creativity, mental health and other things that make me happy. The name of this blog represents a feeling I want all who visit my blog to feel and it represents the kind of person I strive to be. For those who are new and returning, this blog was formerly named after a lyric in “Sweet Caroline”: “Good times never seem so good” because I wanted to share the good times in my life with all of you.

About me: My name is Caroline and I’m a recent graduate of DeSales University and I earned my bachelors in Theatre Design/Technology with a focus in stage management. I love theatre, body positivity, being creative, and advocating for mental health which is what I’m here to share. All of these things are connected to me and my life and it is important for me to have an outlet to express myself and my thoughts.